Keep Your Power, It's Yours!
Last Saturday morning, I decided to finally rake the yard after procrastinating for two days.
It was actually quite therapeutic being outside among the plants, trees and birds. It was beautiful and sunny but not too hot. I felt great even though I was doing manual labour.
I finally got to the end of the yard and noticed there were some men at my neighbor's house who were talking rowdily. I barely glanced in the direction but paid brief notice and went back to my raking.
It was not long after I heard a man shouting, what I felt was inappropriate and disrespectful comments in my direction. I knew he was talking to me because he made reference to my location and to what I was wearing.
In that moment, I immediately felt a surge of anger rise up within me and the very first thing that came to mind was to tell him off. I felt that I would be justified in putting him in his place for his unruly and uncouth behavior.
As I was about to tell him my mind, I then started to see myself. It was almost as if I was an onlooker, watching my thoughts, emotions and feelings. I began to slowly feel myself calming down. I was then able to ask myself, if the situation at hand was worth giving my energy to and whether my intended reaction was really what I wanted.
Everything seemed to happen within seconds, moving from anger and disbelief to clarity and calm. I began feeling sorry for the man because despite my non response, he continued wailing his sexist remarks at me. At that time, instead of anger, I started to feel great compassion for his unconscious reaction.
Can I tell you how surprised I was of my response to the situation? In previous times, having the ability to stop myself from reacting impulsively and instead choosing to consciously respond would not have been possible.
These new abilities, I believe, is as a direct result of my practice of 'policing my thoughts'. One of my spiritual teachers, Eckhart Tolle, advocates the need for us to watch and monitor or thoughts without judgment. This practice helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and eventually equips us to better control ourselves. We are then given the opportunity to truly choose how we want to respond to a situation vs. reacting uncontrollably.
In my experience, we often react to situations based on a default setting. If we perceive something as negative, we react negatively and vice versa. Of course, our perceptions are based on our beliefs, experiences and ideas, which usually has no real bearing on reality.
In this automatic mode, we essentially relinquish our power to the situation and person(s), who then has the autonomy to determine how we feel. Do we really want to give up our power to other people and situations? I surely don't.
Learning how to watch your thoughts and inevitably empowering yourself to respond and not react, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to others. It helps you to retain your power and choice of how you want to be and how you want to respond in any situation.
"How people are is their choice. How I am is my choice. No matter what they do, no one can make me angry, happy or unhappy. These privileges I have kept to myself." Sadhguru
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